can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize