I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
