I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She's the barista slut.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
