I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I think your dad took our porno
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
