Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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