apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
