no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Boobs are out for the taking
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
