Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
