Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
