Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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