I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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