I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
