big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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