Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
