Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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