Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
