Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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