So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
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it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
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