remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
