my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
