so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
she told me i tasted like america
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
