Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
