My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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