That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
