He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
