We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
