Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
