just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
