i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
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Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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