I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
operation have a gay friend backfired
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
