how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
