Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
are you so shy because you have an std?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
40s are totally the cure
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
