fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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