smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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