I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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