if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Boobs are out for the taking
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
