I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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