i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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