No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
