He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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