Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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