4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
