i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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