saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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