i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
