could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
