I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize