You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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