she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
