he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
All I want is dick and wine.
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