Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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