I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize