Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
