you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
