He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
