Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
